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Posts Tagged ‘tf2 newbs’

Grand Prix Story review -iPhone/Android game

Posted on: November 13th, 2011 by mrbuttons

Grand Prix Story, reviewed on the iOS

Kairosoft keeps throwing out the punches, least that’s how it seems like with their 5th released app on the iPhone (3rd for you Android users), and they’ll keep coming for more which is understandable considering that these apps are just older games they made on the PC back in the 90s over in Japan. The government should assemble a task force to find more of these hidden gems and have them translated.

The game starts you off with a basic tutorial, though I highly recommend reading the “How to Play” text in the Settings menu. Right off the bat some people will get turned away from playing when they realise that you can’t directly control the cars but don’t let that stop you from trying as you’ll be impressed at what you can do.

As a manager game your job is to make sure your team is skilled and ready to tackle the obstacles that are the races. There are three major criteria to master in this game in order to win.

The staffs are the first half of what makes a great racing team. You start off with a driver and one mechanic, and as you go along you’ll unlock the ability to hire more of them. You can have in total two drivers, though the second can only be hired after you conquer the first Grand Prix tournament. When selected you can train them to become better in various skills like pedal (top speed), shift (acceleration), steer (handling), appl (think charisma that boosts your sponsor bonus), tech (used in building/upgrading) and anlys (analyse which grants more tech points). Each driver has a skill cap so switching to a better driver later can be worthwhile if you want to spend the time and money, and you can only train them so much at a time before they tire out, which can affect driving performance. Lastly, drivers get colored auras from time to time; use them wisely as they give big bonuses when used in upgrading, building, training or racing. I recommend the first two mostly.

The mechanics are the unsung heroes in my book as they provide the background bonus to your driver in the terms of extra appeal, tech and analysis, and when you can have six mechanics per team later on, it really adds up. Tech is the main skill I look for as it is crucial to building better cars and getting better bonus’ on parts. Each mechanic can be leveled from 1 to 5 which require more tech points per level, and the better the mechanic, the more points you’ll need per battle. Keep an eye out for the good ones like Tom Edson and Boba Fatt (beware of punny names) as they’ll have the best level 5 stats. Though the real key to make the best racing team out there is to keep them busy, by researching, repairing, building, anything as a busy team keeps gaining stats and tech points, plus who wants to pay their staff by doing nothing? So time your race schedule, repairs and other plans accordingly.

Cars and parts are the nuts and bolts (*slow clap*) of your team. You’ll have four types of cars, all of which you can upgrade to unlock a better version of. The all-rounded Buggy, the speedy Dragster, the well-handled Wing car and the special types, like the Duck car, that give various special bonus which you only unlock later on in the game, but most are unlocked by pleasing sponsors and upgrading other cars and parts. Experiment with them all to find out what suits you best, but just make sure you got the tech points ready for it as the costs rise progressively. Also be mindful when building new cars or installing parts as the total amount of your team’s tech determines how well it goes, so the more the better, especially if you have the best of the best techs in one single team.

Learn these well and you’ll find that getting 1st place in every race will be easy, though I recommend you conquer the single races before heading off to the Grand Prix as those take time and are a lot more challenging in terms of opponents and leave little time in between races to repair and upgrade/make better cars. Though once you do become number one, you’ll move on to bigger and better challenges, as well as having the room for more staff and another driver.

And this is where the money comes in. Hiring another driver and more staff will start becoming more costly with their monthly wages for staff and annual contracts for the drivers. Winning races is a good way to get some but sponsors are the key. Along with them giving you money, if you get them enough advertisement they will give you various cars and parts to research, along with new skills to train your driver, though they get progressively tougher to please as you go along. It’s tough at first but well worth it as you’ll need to save plenty of cash if you want to build lots of A-list cars and plan to switch parts around in your cars.

Overall the game is easy to play with lots of depth, addicting qualities and replayability. Its quirky characters, bright colors and challenges keep you coming back for more in order to drain your phone’s battery to its last drop. I played it to death, had lots of fun unlocking new parts and types of cars and felt proud of my little digital team for doing so well, especially since I kept my starting driver from start to end and almost conquered every track. I highly recommend the game for those who’re looking to kill time, who enjoying building/management games or who’ve played other Kairosoft games such as Game Dev, Hot Springs and Mega Mall Story.

2Fort vs Payload – Grudge Match

Posted on: June 11th, 2011 by The Jib

In a Crips vs Bloods-esque battle, 2Fort and Payload took to the streets to represent their home turf. A number that’s been floating around is Payloads undefeated 16-0 run versus 2Fort.. 2Fort had one thing in mind tonight, to show they were not to be taken lightly, and that the last 16 losses were merely flukes.

The match was a best of 3, encompassing each sides strengths to provide the most even playing field. The first map was 2Fort. 2Fort is a map where with two identical bases separated by a brid…. Oh wait you’ve played 2Fort before? Oh who knew.. Well you probably haven’t played 2Fort like the 2Fort squad has. 8 out of 10 2Fort players had more time logged on the map than they claimed on taxes this year.. And that fact was evident by taking home the W, their first in the grudge match history. For the sake of time, 2Fort was given the victory after the first capture – because we all know Payload turtles ; )

The second map played was Badwater, which is the equivalent to 2Fort in the Payload world. Both teams played offense and defense, but Payload emerged victorious at 2-0. 2Fort had an epic last stand on the last point on defense, however Payload pulled out some old school tricks for the win. 2Fort struggled on offense, as Payload gave up little ground.

Bringing the score to 1-1, the match was brought to a tiebreaker on Granary. A sudden death scenario, where the first team to win the round would earn the title of champion, and take home the $100,000 cash prize.. (wait what?) 2Fort did their best to hold the line, but Payloads teamwork was too strong. Winning the tiebreaker forever etched their name into Newbs history as champions, bringing the lifetime score to 18-1 in their favor.

Payloads voodoo was too strong for 2Fort.

We then took part in the customary ‘Pick the other teams classes’ round, just for giggles.

All talk was left on, much fun was had by all.. It’s always a good time to see people out of their comfort zone. Ggglygy held it down for the 2Fort team with some epic spy maneuvers, but sadly it wasn’t enough.. Payload was yet again victorious.

While Payload took home the match, 2Fort earned the respect of many with a win versus their strong opponent. It goes without saying that the Payload squad is the better team when it comes to capture point and payload maps, but no one.. And I mean no one, walks into 2Forts server and caps the intel.. And that’s something to hang your hat on 2Forters.

I’d like to give a big thanks to those who participated. It can be difficult to make video game plans and follow through, as previous skirmishes have shown. However I was very pleased to see a full 12v12 even into the tiebreaker. Big shout out to Crap and Anonymouse for organizing the event. Crap more-so on the admin side of things, and Anonymouse with setting a time and getting teams organized. Very nice work – the Newbs community thanks you for your efforts.

Until next time, stay classy San Diego.


Demos (Courtesy of Crap)

February Blog

Posted on: February 14th, 2011 by The Jib

Being that it’s Valentines day I thought I’d show the blog some love. Couple updates, but really it’s about the hot chicks and upcoming prizes that you won’t want to miss.

Newbs Stimulus is still going strong!

1st Place – Terres                         (ticket 1136)
2nd Place –
ChaosNinjaSteve (ticket 1257)

Congrats to the winners! Keep the posts and quality content coming to improve your odds of getting free hats!

NewbsMas has ended!

Had a great showing this year with a lot of diverse content. Our monkeys have been tabulating votes for weeks and promise results soon!

TF2 Rift Promo:

Valve’s Team Fortress 2 is about to be invaded by Rift, the upcoming MMO from Trion Worlds. Both companies announced today that Steam customers who pre-order Rift by March 1st will receive two exclusive melee weapons in Team Fortress 2: the “Sharpened Volcano Fragment” and “Sun-on-a-stick.” Additionally, the Valve team is adding a permanent Team Fortress 2 achievement that grants players a redeemable code for an equally exclusive (and terrifying) headpiece in Rift, the “Well Spun Hat.”  (Images/Text


Hard to say what the value of these bad boys will be.. However I can say that the word ‘Genuine’ in front will be worth more than it should.. as always in Hat Fortress : )

College Mansion Competition:

Video games and hot chicks rarely coincide.. Except when you’re playing with Newbs. Haley’s friend Candice took part in a swimsuit contest known as the College Mansion Competition.. If you missed it, take a gander.

Shes on the left

Well being the good Newbs we are, we attempted to rig the voting. And apparently it ALMOST worked. Had we had a little more time and proper planning, I can assure you she would have reigned supreme.  During that process Dewar and Octo went in together on some decks of cards featuring these fine ladies. If you’re 18+, you may want to pay close attention to our next few contest give aways ; )

Future contest winners will not be disappointed

From Demo Fro to Unusual – One Man’s Epic Journey Pt. 2 of 2

Posted on: November 19th, 2010 by The Jib

Ahh.. Welcome back to the conclusion of From Demo Fro to Unusual – One Man’s Epic Journey. I hope you are well rested, and that you haven’t traded your soul to the devil after reading our first installment of From Demo Fro to Unusual. Today we’ll dive deeper into the unusual world of unusuals and discuss what to do and what not to do to be successful in this crazy virtual realm of hats we reside in.

Okay so where did we leave off.. Ahh yes.. The starter unusual. Now I failed to mention in the first post that it’s not essential to have a starter unusual. You can easily obtain a lot of unusuals for a Max’s Set or 8-16 vintage hats (depending on quality).. However I didn’t want just ‘any’ unusual.. I had my heart set on the grand daddy of all unusuals. A Soldier hat with flames *shock and awe*. If it was easy it wouldn’t be a journey now would it..

First thing we’ll discuss is the unusual market itself. Basically there’s 14 possible effects. Ranging from fire to flies in most cases.  You’ll find that one man’s junk is another man’s treasure but for the most part the list looks something like this.

Upper Tier:

  • Burning flames (Red)
  • Scorching flames (Green)
  • Sun beams
  • Purple energy
  • Green energy
  • Vivid plasma

Middle Tier:

  • Ghosts
  • Searing Plasma
  • Hearts

Lower Tier:

  • Tf2 Logo
  • Peace
  • Confetti
  • Flies

Now there are some exceptions to the rule when it comes to effects. For instance the Stainless Pot with flies, or the Handyman’s Handle with Flies have a certain comedic value to them. Also there seems to be a population of players (girls?) who REALLY want unusuals with hearts. Not too sure on that one. There’s also hat combination’s that just make sense. The Modest Pile with sunbeams, the Brigade Helm with Flames (Really any pyro hat with flames), Chieftain with flames, Kabuto/Hound Dog with sunbeams, Hot Rod with flames… You get the picture. Basically any hat that looks like it should have that effect on it is worth substantially more. Some people argue sunbeams are the best effect. For me, any hat on fire bodes well, whereas it’s hit or miss with sunbeams.

Also note that certain classes are more sought after than others. For instance soldier is the most sought after class, followed closely by demo. A lot of people consider a nice soldier unusual to be worth 2 of the same effect on a less sought after class (IE sniper or engy). Why is this you may ask? Well It takes a certain type of person to set out in search of one of these unusuals in the first place, and it appears that certain type of person is more apt to want to blow your face off than to play a support role – go figure. Another factor to consider are the polycount sets. The soldier’s polycount set is broker than Owen Wilson’s nose.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse. Owen's plans for the next update include: Grenadiers Soft Visor

The softcrap looks just like it sounds, and the loadout just doesn’t make sense for sentry busting. Don’t get me wrong I love a good black box but 3 rockets in a clip make it exponentially harder to break a SG. This means most hardcore soldiers would rather sport a badass unusual than the polycount hat. This is the opposite for scout whose polycount set is actually pretty good. Most people would rather use the Special Delivery set than have a batters helmet with confetti. Therefore more people want soldier unusuals versus scout unusuals.

Why am I telling you this? Well don’t get me wrong, if you weren’t trading your V. Medic Mask for a V. Ye Olde Baker Boy 1:1 I wouldn’t be telling this story now would I : ) . Even if you don’t ever plan on trading your hats, know which ones are more valuable than others because there will come a day when you think “Oh gee, a Demo Fro how cute – Bill’s hat is stupid anyways..” DON’T BE THAT GUY.

Alright so not all effects, classes, or hats are created equal.  I took this knowledge and attempted to exploit that. I found a fellow who enjoyed wearing bunny ears more than having a heavy Bandana with energy. Not a bad trade. Unless you consider the fact that I have 3 hrs logged as heavy.. But that’s besides the point. Energy is a top tier effect. I mean look at it, eating babies while having your head look like a butane lighter.. Badass.

So now what? Trade that beast! AND FAST. Ideally you trade it for the hat that you see yourself growing old in. All you need to do is find someone who LOVES heavy and absolutely hates their Stout Shako with green flames.. Easy right? Unfortunately you stand a better chance of finding a female with good looks who cooks and cleans off of E-Harmony than that trade happening. So my next step was to acquire a mid tier soldier unusual. Applying ‘Soldier Unusual 2:1 Law’ I knew if I got a decent soldier unusual 1:1 for it I would be making progress.

So I come across a fellow with a stainless steel pot with plasma. PERFECT! The soldier unusual of my Dreams!! Wait, did I say plasma? Wait searing plasma? Motherf..

Ohh yea - cause Nothing says Soldier like yellow and purple beams coming off your spaghetti pan!

Not to be an unusual snob but this just didn’t really sit well with me. Searing plasma? I came all this way for freaking searing plasma? I felt like a medieval knight saving a princess only to find out she’s into girls and alternative music.. Will it ever end? This was definitely a gamble on my part. I downgraded my effect, but I knew that the Soldier Unusual 2:1 Law had my back. I took the next few days off from the trade servers and devoted more time showing your mom how my rockets taste (Was that necessary?). It was nice to have some extra particles next to my head, but I wasn’t satisfied..  Rest is for the weak, and I was so close to unusual epicness I could taste it.. 

It’s hard to imagine starting with a non vintage Demo Fro and ending up one trade away from unusual immortality. At this point you have all the proper tools to get the hat of your dreams, it’s just finding it and taking it so to speak. So before I blow the motherload on what happened next, I think we should take a moment to discuss how important a good wingman can be in your quest at this stage of the game.

A good wingman. If you’re on a serious journey as I was, you’ll come to meet a lot of people along the way. These people will inevitably share your love of trading and finer things. Unfortunately a good majority of them are douchebags.. You remember Golem in Lord of the Rings? Yeah, I know you do. That’s most people in this fiery underworld of unusuals. They hobble around murmuring about their precious hats, meanwhile holding down ‘V’ while eating their Cool Ranch Dorritos in your ear. However, there’s always a few exceptions. You’ll come recognize some of the regulars in the trade channels, and will inevitably trade a few things back and forth over time. You’ll cry about how you wish you hadn’t of traded your earbuds for a luger now that Poker Night at the Inventory came along and ruined everything.. These are the people who will help you excel when all odds are stacked against you. A lot of trading is having the right items at the right time. For instance, I had a guy wanted to trade me a Soldier stash with burning flames for a Max’s set and a Soldier’s Medal. Oh dear lord, could this be so? Too bad I just traded my Soldier Medal 15 minutes ago.. What to do?! The only thing I could. I called Octo on the other side of the country in a panicked state:

‘Uhhh.. WHATS UP? Uhm.. hope you’re not busy but I Reallllly need your soldier medal for like.. half an hour’.. ‘


“Yeeea.. but this is burning flames here for god sakes”

Boom. Soldier Medal in my backpack. Needless to say that trade failed horribly, but Octo was there in the clutch. He had my best interest in mind, and knew I’d make it right. I gave Octo his medal back along with some compensation for his clutchness and proceeded in my hunt. Not to say some stranger off steam forums is going to do this for you, but I think a few of my good friends would have known I was good for it.

A good wingman can also help you in your search. Specific hats with specific effects are pretty limited, so having someone keeping an eye out for what you’re looking for is a godsend. Speaking of which one of my buddies is looking for a Stout Shako with.. Eh nevermind.

Anyways, back to the story.. So One thing I failed to mention about the Stainless Pot with Searing Plasma was that this individual had a soldier medal. He knew my energy effect was superior, but did not fully understand the ‘Soldier Unusual 2:1 Law’. So in order to make our trade proper he offered a soldier medal in addition to his stainless pot, if I added ear buds and v. medic mask. Ahhh.. I know, I know.. But I can always get another medic mask if I need it.. This soldier medal was going to seal the deal on my final Unusual and I knew it.

To this point I had gone from Non Vintage Demo Fro to this to that to this to that, to two Max Sets with some Soldier Medals.. To an unusual heavy Bandana with energy, to an unusual Stainless Pot with searing plasma – with a spare Max’s Set and Soldier Medal. I advertised that I wanted to upgrade my Soldier unusual and that I would throw in a Soldier’s Medal to get an energy effect and would give Max’s Set for green or red fire. Many days passed, and I wasn’t sure if the Stainless Pot was going to pull through for me.. Until one I got a pm on steam forums stating that he had an Unusual Chieftain with Burning Flames, and would trade me for my Stainless Pot, Soldier Medal, and Max’s set. Wow. Talk about full circle eh? The very hat that started this whole thing. Up until this point I had my sights on a Soldier Stash with burning flames because I didn’t think I had enough to jump into the polycount with good effect realm. (Seriously, polycount unusuals are ridiculous.. See Kabuto with sunbeams). My original plan was to get my unusual and have either the Solder Medal or Max’s Set left over.. What to do? Pshh, the only reasonable thing to do. Get the Chieftain then get another Max’s Set and Soldier Medal haha.

What now? Now you're in trouble. Muhahaha.

Was it worth it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? Probably not haha. It’s a nasty world out there. Scammers and mic spammers can really take the fun out of the whole process. But such is life. At the end of the day I couldn’t be happier with the process though. It would have been far too easy to start with a great collection of vintage hats, or to have been a part of the Sam & Max release and stock up on 15 sets.. This hat was built from the ground up, and I earned every pixel of it. Some may argue it’s not the best hat in the game, or that you think this effect is better than that one.. But to me the true beauty in this story comes from the fact that I ended up with the very hat that started the whole thing. TF2 poetic justice.

JiB out.

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From Demo Fro to Unusual – One Man’s Epic Journey Pt. 1 of 2

Posted on: November 10th, 2010 by The Jib

Foreward: Okay so you took the bait. This is a bit of a glory/brag blog post.. But I worked HARD for it and i’m quite proud of meeting my goal. I’ll tell you how I did it, and give you some tips that I learned along the way. Okay so now that we got that out of the way.. Onto the story.

So if you’ve been following the blog like a good Newb you’ll remember my ‘Newbs Recap’. A story of my return to TF2 along with some Newbs history.. Well consider the next chapter to my story.

Upon returning to TF2 a lot had changed since I had last played.. I left right about the time that items started to drop and hadn’t been back since. Well the polycount update sounded interesting, and the scout set was intriguing so I thought what the hey.. I’ll give it a shot. Coming back to the game and enjoying all the new weapons was a blast. But it’d didn’t take long for me to realize that I REALLY needed a milkman hat for my gaming experience to be complete.. But how? Trading of course! I set out on a journey to find a milkman. Not having any concept of crafting, or value of one hat to another.. I started offering anything I had tradable for a milkman. To my dismay hardly anyone had a milkman at this time, and if they did they bought it. Argh.. BUT.. You can craft them! 4 refined? pshh.. No problem I said. After formulating a strategy, I began my hustle. I traded crates for a about 2 days and finally got enough metal to craft my Milkman. Joy. That extra 25 hp really got me going.. But now what? The joy I felt obtaining after getting my milkman slowly faded into “Well that was easy..”

So I thought hey, how about trading some hats? I’m way behind the times with no vintage hats.. And only a Bills hat to trade. Well I waited until I saw something I like and said hey, Demo man.. That fro looks mighty dapper, how about I trade you my Bills hat for it? Instant trade. Sweeet.. a DEMO FRO.. Boy TF2 sure is fun.

Yeah.. wasn’t long after that I read Crap’s post about how Bill’s hat was worth 3-4 hats that my love of the trading system faded. ‘Wait what? Bill’s hat is worth.. Motherf..’ So naturally I had to figure out what was hot and what was not to never let this happen again.. And that’s where things really got crazy.

Trade servers, fancy WoW-esque trading lingo.. And steam forums of course. Craigslist for TF2. I hadn’t really seen an unusual at this point, so I didn’t realize how badly I needed one.. I saw a TF2 logo, a circling heart.. Flies. Hrm, novel but not all that exciting. Until the day.. I saw an Unusual Chieftain with Burning Flames. holy. sh mackerel. So naturally I trade the guy. Like UHH YEA.. and I add everything I have into the trade box hoping he’s as excited by my milkman, demo fro, crates and a name tag as i am and just gives me that awesome hat. ‘LolZ I ned Luk 30-40 haotz noob, or luk, 4 unueusleasz’. Motherf..

So yea that was about 3 weeks ago. Since then it has been my unyielding goal to obtain a burning flames unusual. Why? I’m not really sure. Was it to get the ‘last laugh’ with that fine gentleman in the unusual trading server? Was it so I could sit on said server and laugh at all those who try to offer me crate hats for it? No. Pretty sure it was only because of how Badass it looked. Sure, I get 6 or 7 kills, steal your intel.. air shot you as you’re dropping off battlements. Happens all the time. BUT, doing it while having your head on fire? THATS SOMETHING.

So for the last few weeks i’ve been hustling this and that, one of these for 2 of those.. And working my way up the ‘backpack ladder’ so to speak. Get a max set, then another.. Then SOLDIER medals are tradable oh gawd.. The rarest most un-noticable item in game I NEED one of those haha.. Ear buds? Sha.. Who wouldn’t want to have little musical notes magically falling from your head.

Finally the day arrives that I’m ready to go after an unusual. This is not for the faint of heart. I do not recommend this to any sane TF2 player. It’s a jungle out there. Hustling hats is one thing, but unusuals are just nasty. The evil in people comes out. Scam artists, paypal for hats, steam games.. A dark underworld surrounds me. The items you thought were so awesome, and so sought after apparently are only worth 1 refined here. If you’re lucky. Oh god don’t bring up the luger. Whatever you do. Chat spamming, Mic spamming, 12 year old kids yelling. This is an unusual trade server. Don’t believe me? Wait on autojoin for 5-10 minutes and see what waits inside.

It was at this point that trading stopped being fun, I was in over my head. Surrounded by the very things that ruin the game. But my quest was noble.. I just wanted a Badass hat. Is that so wrong? Time was of the essence.

It was at this time I realized you can’t break into the unusual market with max’s set alone. Oh no, you need a starter unusual. One with a good effect, but has absolutely no value to you. Because it’d be too easy to get what you wanted right away.. Now wouldn’t it.


Mm.. Babies

My starter unusual. Now you might say, Wow. That’s pretty badass. You made it! An Energy unusual on a black bandana? Dude congrats. (yeah you probably wouldn’t say any of that but, you know.. hypothetically) This hat COULD be someone’s dream hat. It is not yours. This in my opinion is the scariest of trades. Something you’ve grown to love and enjoy, your beloved max set or 12 vintages including your medic mask for THIS? A hat of a class you never play?! Yeah, don’t mess this one up kids. Otherwise you’ll find yourself learning a new class to show off that green confetti you worked so hard for ; P

So you have your starter unusual. Now what? Ah.. Things to take note of in my starter unusual. Nice Effect. Someone, someplace will think this is the best hat ever and want to give their babies for it. Will you find them? Probably not. But, these trader types out there would like to think they could so they’ll deal with you. Let’s take a moment and examine the guy you’ll likely get your dream hat from:

Unusual Dealers may exhibit one or more of the following traits:

  • Doesn’t advertise hats, merely wears them around while taunting.
  • Will Cancel a trade with you if the first hat you include in the trade box isn’t amazing. Will laugh and harass you on mic if it’s a halloween mask.
  • Spend a lot of time ‘gambling’ hats while taunting with equalizers. (Never do this)
  • Are constantly talking on the mic about their last trade and how they royally robbed that guy (don’t let this scare you)
  • Douchebag.

It’s important to understand the ‘unusual hat dealer’ because he inevitably will hold what you value so dearly. He will know this. And he will exploit you. Don’t let that happen.

Aha, you thought I would share ALL of the secrets of the Unusual underworld in just one blog post? That would be too easy my friend. Too easy. Tune in next time for the conclusion of *dundundun* From Demo Fro to Unusual.

>>>PART 2 of 2